A guide for transgender and gender expansive people and their allies

Tag: friends

What’s the word?

There are many terms related to queer, trans, and gender-expansive people. I’ve been out as pansexual for almost a decade and genderfluid trans feminine for several years, and I don’t know them all. Thankfully, there are excellent glossaries online. GLAAD has also provided suggestions for what words to avoid and what alternatives work better.

However, it can be helpful to focus less on specifics. Let’s zoom out to achieving the goal of using sensitive language. That is, facilitating discussions in a fair and accurate way that welcomes everyone safely into the wider conversation.

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Am I Trans?

The short answer: I can’t tell you. In a masterstroke of unhelpfulness, I have to tell you the truth: only you can decide if you’re trans. Even then, there isn’t a definitive test to find out. So instead of telling you if you’re trans, I’m going to give you a few questions to meditate on and some experiments to try out.

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7 Steps to Coming Out

Congratulations! Realizing who you really are is a huge step forward in anyone’s life. Let me bring you to our little community.  As I’m fond of saying,

Welcome to the island of misfit toys.

Now, not everyone wants to or can come out. Being out as trans, gender-nonconforming, or nonbinary can be dangerous. But it can be a huge relief, and it can help you find a lot of support. This is a guide for those that want, and are able to, come out.

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Be an A+ Ally

So someone you care about has just come out to you as trans. You have been trusted with a great honor and responsibility. As a trans ally you can be the support that helps your loved one navigate their own path to living authentically.

Maybe you want to help, but don’t know how. Here are a few suggestions.

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