The short answer: I can’t tell you. In a masterstroke of unhelpfulness, I have to tell you the truth: only you can decide if you’re trans. Even then, there isn’t a definitive test to find out. So instead of telling you if you’re trans, I’m going to give you a few questions to meditate on and some experiments to try out.
The traditional trans story describes a person who must transition from one binary gender to the other to escape extreme gender dysphoria. This may be true for some. But there are many ways to think about and carry out a transition, and they don’t always have to include self-loathing.
This cisnormative society expects us to hate our bodies, especially our genitals, body hair, and chest. We are told that facial hair, thick body hair, penises and testicles are male, which would lead non-male people with them to hate those parts of them.
Similarly, those who don’t identify as female are shamed for having a vulva, hips, or breasts. Even for cis people there is an unspoken rule that having “male” characteristics is a form of failure for female-identifying people and vice versa.
None of this is true. If you’re a female, then your genitals are female with you, no matter what they are. The same is true if you’re male, nonbinary, agender, or any other gender. And if you happen to have something that’s usually regarded as part of a different gender, think of it as a bonus feature instead of a lacking one.
One way to do this is by giving your features new names. Many trans women rename their penises things like a girl-dick, girl cock, wand, clit, or—my personal favorite—strapless. Hey, people of all sexualities pay good money for strap-ons, so why not use the strapless one that came for free?
I’ve heard trans men, especially those with a clitoris enlarged by testosterone, call their parts dick, cock, or penis along with their cunt, pussy, vagina, or bonus hole. There are many creative names out there, and trans erotica is a great place to get inspiration.
Trans bodies are in high demand. Ask any trans sex worker. We aren’t freaks; we are treasures. A rare, sexy, and hot date anyone would be lucky to get their hands on.
Of course, we are more than sexual objects. We’re layered human beings, and our value isn’t dependent on how others view us. But to those who see themselves as undesirable, remember that between your personality and your body, you are someone’s wildest fantasy.
Presenting as a new gender often means shaving somewhere different than before. Whether it’s learning how to shave facial hair or trying for a smooth pair of legs, it can feel intimidating at first. Even cis folks often struggle to learn on their own, usually the hard way. We’ll spare you that learning curve and provide some tips to make it easier.
As a genderfluid person, there are times I want to look like I don’t have boobs. This can be done through a process called binding. There are many ways to do this, but it needs to be done carefully to avoid injury. We’ll go over several safe methods to make someone feel a little more comfortable with their chest.
No matter what the gender, babies mostly develop the same way in the womb for the first 5-7 weeks. Hormones are the chemical magic that cause bodies to grow differently, both in the womb and during puberty. For those who suffer from gender dysphoria, hormone replacement therapies (HRT) present a second chance at puberty. A way to change their bodies to line up better with the gender they identify with and experience. This time, we’ll talk about “feminizing hormones” and what they do.
Disclaimer : I am not a medical professional. I sometimes crumble up stale cookies, pour milk on them, and eat them like cereal. Leave actual medical advice to the folks with letters after their names. I’ll try to balance medical research, personal experience, and anecdotal evidence from others to give y’all a good overview of the options out there. Also, this is very NSFW.
Congratulations! Realizing who you really are is a huge step forward in anyone’s life. Let me bring you to our little community. As I’m fond of saying,
Now, not everyone wants to or can come out. Being out as trans, gender-nonconforming, or nonbinary can be dangerous. But it can be a huge relief, and it can help you find a lot of support. This is a guide for those that want, and are able to, come out.
We often sort things into binaries, systems with only two categories. The categories often take the form of “this” or “not this.” For example, fiction and nonfiction. Free and priced. These labels sometimes work when there are clear-cut differences between inanimate objects. However, people are rarely so simple.
The gender binary is the idea that all people are either entirely male or entirely female. No exceptions, nothing in between. We’ll point out how that idea is flawed and how gender identity is much more colorful than black and white.
So someone you care about has just come out to you as trans. You have been trusted with a great honor and responsibility. As a trans ally you can be the support that helps your loved one navigate their own path to living authentically.
Maybe you want to help, but don’t know how. Here are a few suggestions.